Dear@Santa, is that really you on Twitter?

Dear Santa:

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written. I’m not even sure you still accept letters. I found you on Twitter and Facebook but I’m not sure it’s really you.  I tried to text, but I think your service must be spotty at the North Pole. (If you did get it, yes, the “Yo Santa, S’up?” was me). Maybe you are still mad because I asked for some really mean things to be delivered to my x-husband a couple years ago. I’m sorry about that. (It’s not like reindeer aren’t making that stuff anyways and how many little plastic poop bags can you carry around with you all night)! Do you get a lot of letters from middle aged divorced moms? I don’t really need anything for myself. I’m good with all my children being happy, healthy and finally all living on this side of the ocean again. I know they’re adults now but there are just a few things they could use.  Some of this may be a lot to ask. Even the Big Guy upstairs has not been able to help with all of it, but then he’s probably busy with his son’s birthday coming up and all.

Santa, for my oldest daughter, if you could do something about getting more legislation passed to help with her students loans. She’s so smart and works so hard and is about to finish graduate school. She would really appreciate any good word you could put in for her. For my son, he served in the military for six years and really believed them when they said there would be good jobs for the veterans when they returned. I know, the economy may be beyond your control but again, if you could just whisper in the ears of few folks in D.C. when you are dropping off presents in the middle of the night, I think it would really help.

My middle daughter, she’s doing well Santa but if you could help her out with Beverly. Beverly is her very, old, worn out car. If you could just give her a hand to keep it running a couple more winters while she finishes putting herself through school that would be a big help. My youngest daughter has signed up to volunteer in Ghana this spring. If you could just close Ghana please, that would be great but I know that might be selfish on my part. So instead, if you could help her find sponsors and keep her safe that would be the next best thing.

Santa, for my son-in-law, could you find him a job that he really loves that doesn’t require him to drive between states all week? I know that would make him very happy! His parents spent a lot of money on college for him and we would really like it if he could keep working in Maine! Finally, for my son “by luck rather than by birth” who is running a small business downtown. Can you please keep an eye out and make sure it continues to be successful. (Then again, he sells beer so it will probably continue to do well all on its own). In fact, stop by on your way through I’m sure he’ll give you one on the house, but remember you’re driving!

While I’m at it Santa, if you could keep my Mom healthy and give her a few more good years we’d all be very grateful. She worries a lot about her Social Security getting cut. Anything you can do to help with that? For the guy I’m dating, well if you could just bring him a big box of patience because . . .  well you know me, Santa! One of my best friends needs a couple good knees and another is looking for a “silver-haired fox” just in case you run into anyone. Come to think of it, Santa, you are just the type.  If Mrs. Claus ever gives you the old heave-ho, let me know! I have someone special for you!

Merry Christmas, Love Karen

This piece was originally published on the Bangor Daily News website, December 16, 2011. 

Merry, Happy, Whatever!

I was in the grocery store one evening, about this time last year, when a gentleman in the same aisle sneezed.  Without really thinking about it, I responded with “bless you.”  The man shot back at me with a very firm and unexpected lecture on the origin of the phrase, the history of the church and his rather strong feelings surrounding both. I was taken aback. Fortunately, I rarely lose the power to actually speak and responded with “I’m very sorry, my intention was simply to be polite, not to comment on your eternal salvation.” He was then rendered speechless himself and I pushed my cart on down the aisle.

I meant no disrespect to this man or his beliefs. I even agreed with him on some of his points about religion. In fact, I may have enjoyed a good debate/discussion. However, the grocery store was not the place for this conversation, and surely, it is not a conversation that’s a good idea to have with a complete stranger. So what should someone do in this situation? I believe we need to consider the intention of the person who is speaking with us. My intention was to wish him good health. He should have simply responded with “thank you” in the same way that I would respond if someone wished me a Happy Hanukah.

I’m not Jewish. I don’t celebrate Hanukah. However, if someone does and greets me with this wish, I would simply respond with “thank you” or “you also.” Their intention was to wish me happiness. It is not a comment or an insult on my own belief system.  Now maybe the correct thing would be to first ask the person if they actually celebrate the holiday you are about to wish them well with. If they say no, then just wish them peace or good health instead.  However, sometimes it is just impractical to inquire about everyone’s personal beliefs before offering a simple, well-intentioned greeting.

I think in our efforts to be politically correct we have gone way overboard. Isn’t it really all the same season; the season of peace and joy and good will towards our fellow human beings? I celebrate Christmas because I was raised in a Catholic family, but my own beliefs have evolved well beyond the church of my youth. I also like the idea of celebrating the Winter Solstice as well; a time to celebrate the cold, dark days each getting a little longer on our way to spring and new life once again. Its connection to the ancient gods or goddesses is intriguing but not threatening in any way to my particular faith. I love hearing about other faiths and traditions and would enjoy being included in a family’s celebration that was different than my own.

The same goes for my tree. You can call it a holiday tree or a Christmas tree or Auntie Karen’s Super Funky Sparkling Tree of Fun! It’s all fine with me. What you call it or how you celebrate or don’t celebrate does not affect my enjoyment of the holidays in any way whatsoever. I truly hope that nothing I do or say is offensive to you in anyway either. My wish is for each of you to enjoy your entire holiday season, in whatever form that it takes! Should I run into any of you in the grocery store, and I slip up and say “Merry Christmas” or “God Bless You,” please forgive me. I have only the best intentions!

Now I’m off to wrap presents to put under my Super Funky Sparkling Tree of Fun!

This piece was originally published on the Bangor Daily News website, December 9, 2011.